Vittu Loses his Key
AN Mahambro
(translated by José Lourenço)
When Bhau
Bandodkar became the Chief Minister of Goa ,
Vittu said – this is really not a good thing, okay? Vittu was talking about his
key. You see, about that same time, his key got lost. Altogether Vittu had
fourteen keys. The account of those keys was as below:
1 of the front door
1 of the outer room
3 of the inner rooms
2 of the drawers of the table
2 of the drawers of the cabinet
1 of the cash box
1 of the almirah
2 of the trunks
1 of the safe locker
Out of these, the
key to the almirah would get lost every day. The keys of the outer room, the table
drawers and the trunks would get lost once every eight to fifteen days and the
keys of the cabinet drawers would always disappear twice every three months.
The one that never got lost was the key of the safe. And this time that very
key got lost.
Even otherwise,
Vittu is a bit feeble. A quarter less than twelve, as they say. If he keeps a
thing somewhere, he can never recall it. And how tiny that key is! As small as
a germ’s finger. If it got lost, how would it ever be found!
As soon as the
key got lost, Vittu searched and searched the house. First he searched the
outer room. He searched the table there and the drawers of the table. He
searched the chairs. He searched the nails on the wall and the photoframes on
the nails. He searched the storeroom. And the little stool there. Then he
searched the three inner rooms. And the drawers of the cabinet. He searched the
almirah. And the clothes in the almirah. He searched the pockets of the shirts
and the trousers. Then he searched the kitchen. The pots, the pans, the
vessels, the cups, the plates, the bowls, the lids, behind the hearth, the
niches – he searched everywhere. He searched the ladder to the attic. And the
attic. He searched the bedroom. The cots in the room and the mattresses on the
cots, the bedsheets, the pillows, the pillowcovers – everything.
After searching
everything, Vittu told his wife – the key is lost. His wife felt bad. She went
and searched all the places that Vittu had already searched. Then Vittu told
his mother – the key is lost. She rose and searched all the places that Vittu
and Vittu’s wife had already searched.
Vittu felt
sorry for his mother. His mother felt sorry for him. Vittu’s wife felt sorry for
both Vittu and his mother. Vittu had two sons. Pattu and Tittu. When the key
was lost, Pattu was singing and Tittu was jumping around. Vittu said to Pattu –
What bloody fellows you are!
Pattu said –
What happened?
The key is
lost.
What shall I
do?
Cry.
Then we will
find it?
Yes.
Tittu heard
that. Both of them sat down and began crying. Vittu snapped – What are you
singing! When Pattu and Tittu cried it sounded like they were singing. Their
singing sounded like they were crying. When Vittu yelled at them, they shut up.
Vittu’s wife
told one of the neighbours about the lost key. That neighbour told a second
neighbour. The second told the third. The third told the fourth. The fourth
told a fifth. Vittu’s mother told Shenvtu’s mother and Shantu’s mother-in-law. Then
Shenvtu’s mother told Shenvtu’s father and Shenvtu’s father told Shantu’s
father. Shantu’s father told Shantu’s father-in-law and Shantu’s father-in-law
told Shantu’s mother. Pattu and Tittu told the same thing to their friends
Tiblu and Giblu. Then this fellow told that and that told this and they told
them and as this went on the news spread everywhere.
Then Shinnu,
Kattu, Dulgo, Krushnnem, Tirvinn, Bhagi, Anton, Kushtta, Caitan, Marie, Damiao,
Filsu, Ramakant, Durgem, Shenvtu, Abolem, Souza, Fernand, Naik, Kurado,
Mashnnem, Fondo, all of them came over to Vittu’s place. Out of these, Tirvinn,
Bhagi, Marie and Abolem came to visit Vittu’s wife. She was nine months
pregnant.
Those who had
come to inquire into the matter of the key asked Vittu how he had lost the key.
And Vittu told them that in this way and that way the key was lost, adding some
tamarind and chilly to his story. He told each visitor – yesterday I woke up
well, had tea quite well, ate and drank very well, had bath well, went out
quite well, returned home well, ate and drank and slept well, today morning I
woke up well, had tea quite well, had bath and washed up well, heard the news
of Bandodkar becoming Chief Minister very well and then suddenly go to see...
When Vittu’s
brother-in-law came with his wife, that’s Vittu’s sister, to Vittu’s house,
Vittu’s wife was crying that her belly was paining. The brother-in-law and his
wife enquired into her pain. Vittu’s wife kept crying. Vittu’s mother said – I
had told Vittu to take proper care of her. But the fool didn’t take it
seriously. He is always dithering here and there.
Maybe he didn’t
want a child so soon, the brother-in-law wondered.
But when did
she start hurting like this? Vittu’s sister asked the mother.
My dear, what
to tell you, yesterday morning both of us woke up well, ate well, had bath
quite well, slept well, woke up today morning very well, turned on the radio
nicely, heard the news of Bandodkar becoming Chief Minister very well, and just
then Vittu came out and and said to me – Mother, something bad has happened. My
heart sank and I jumped in fright. You see, she had just entered her ninth
month. I cried out – arre, what happened! Vittu said – the key is lost. And
just then this pain started……
The
brother-in-law and his wife just left the matter at that and left.
All day, people
kept visiting. When the men came, Vittu would tell them the same story,
repeating it in the same way. When the women came, Vittu’s mother would tell
them her same story, repeating it in the same way. Vitu’s wife would see who
had come and accordingly sit and cry of belly pain.
Evening fell.
Vittu went to the temple. Prayers were being sung. Hardas was saying in local
Marathi – What to tell you, O Lord, this world is very complicad. When what
will happen to anyone can’t be said anymore. Today someone’s key gets lost,
tomorrow his wife gets lost, the next day his kids get lost, the day after that
he himself gets lost….which is why Sant Tukaram Maharaj says, wherever you go,
you are with me….
Vittu got
irritated. The key is lost, fine…what if I get lost tomorrow?…what if my wife
is lost tomorrow? He got up. Fell at God’s feet. He told the bhat to make a
divine request. The priest asked him – these days what is costlier, coconut or
sugar?
Vittu said –
sugar.
Then the priest
said – O God, today this Vittu has specially come to your feet. Please make him
find that key which he has lost. Then he will offer you his weight in sugar,
this is his vow. The priest told Vittu, God will surely do your work. If he
doesn’t do it, my brother will do it.
The priest’s
brother was an astrologer. Vittu met him. After listening to the whole story,
he asked Vittu – have you brought its horoscope?
Whose
horoscope?
The key’s
horoscope.
No. I haven’t
had it done.
Then how will
we know where it has gone?
Vittu kept
quiet.
When was the
key made?
Five years
back.
Which month?
Margshir.
Teetha?
Ekadasa.
Day?
Monday.
Time?
The locksmith
gave me the key at ten in the morning.
The astrologer
took down the details of the height, weight, shape and colour of the key in
great detail. Then he prepared the horoscope of the key. He peered all over it
for a long time. He counted something on his fingers. Then he looked up to gaze
heavenwards. (Was he studying the horoscopes of the stars, perhaps?) And then
he said – Your key is moving to the south.
But it does not
have legs. How will it walk, asked Vittu impatiently.
Don’t ask
useless questions.
I am not asking
useless questions. But tell me one thing, right now is my key in my backyard?
Or is it near the village ferry? Is it near the Canacona market? Or is it near
the Vivekanand memorial in Kanyakumari?
I haven’t
understood your question.
You said my key
is travelling south. Which south? Of my house? South of the village? Of Goa ? Or of India
If I tell you
all these things, then what is left of my astrology?
At that moment
the priest from the temple appeared there and he said to Vittu – For ten rupees
my brother does not tell more than this.
Vittu cursed
him and paid him ten rupees. And he went home. Sat down to eat. Just then the
door bell rang. A policeman walked in.
Is your key
lost? He asked Vittu.
Yes. Who told
you? Vittu asked.
Your neighbour.
You heard that
and you came here?
If we don’t do
these works, who will do them? Police are at the service of the people. You
tell us what is to be done and we do them.
Vittu kept
looking at the policeman for a good two minutes. He wondered how this righteous
cop from Ram Rajya ever reached his place.
Alright, so how
will I get my key? Vittu asked him.
File a
complaint.
Saying what?
That someone
has stolen your key. If you suspect anyone, put down their names as well.
But my key is
lost. I don’t feel anyone has stolen it.
If that key is
lost, it’s not our business to find it. If anyone has stolen it, it is our duty
to catch the thief.
Alright, if I
file the complaint, will I get my key?
It is our job
to make efforts. How can we tell whether we will find or not find it? These
days even if a minister goes stealing around, we cannot say for sure we will
catch him.
He was a
policeman for certain, but he spoke like a lawyer. Vittu wrote down the
complaint in police language. And once again he asked the cop:
Who informed
you that my key was lost? Which neighbour?
That is not
important. It is more important to find the lost key, said the policeman as he
left.
By this time,
Vittu was quite exhausted. He went and lay on the cot. Screw the whole world,
he thought, and slept soundly.
The next
morning Vittu rose and sat on his porch, deep in thought. Just then he saw
someone on the road. He looked like Sukrata and spoke like Brahmadeva. As soon
as he spotted Vittu, he said –
I heard your
key is lost?
Yes.
You will find
it.
How is that
going to happen?
Any lost item
is always found if searched for properly.
How?
The loss of a
key is an event. There is a cause for every event. No cause, no event. An event
does not necessarily have only one cause. There can be more than one.
So?
We must seek
out these causes.
After that will
I find my key?
You will understand how and why the key got lost.
What’s the use
of understanding why the key got lost?
Understanding
will help you search better.
But why this
double trouble? Instead of searching for the causes, I an searching for the key
itself.
You will not
find it.
Why is that?
Even if you
find it, you will put me in trouble.
How?
If you find the
key without finding the reasons first, I will then have to find the reasons for
your finding the key in such a way.
Alright, then
you only tell me how to find the reasons.
First you tell
me, what happened when you lost your key?
I don’t know.
You tell me.
When your key
got lost, the key that was there now no longer is there. Hence you could no
longer find it. The reasons for it no longer being there can be many. For example:
1.
You cannot remember where you kept the key, hence you
can’t find it.
2.
You remember where you kept the key, but you have not
really kept the key there, hence you cannot find it.
3.
You remember where you kept the key, but the key is not
there, hence you can’t find it.
4.
The key is where you have kept it, but you can’t
remember that place, hence you can’t find it.
5.
From the place where you kept the key, someone has
taken it and hasn’t replaced it, hence you can’t find it.
6.
From the place where you kept the key, someone has
taken it and he doesn’t remember where he has kept it, hence you cannot find
it.
Vittu felt this
peculiar man was spinning yarns and tangling everything up like a
politician….Vittu told him, I will find all the rest of the reasons, thank you.
If you hang around here any more, you will screw up my head. And then I will
have to seek the reasons for my head getting screwed.
After the man
had left, Vittu bathed and dressed and at around ten or ten-thirty, he went to
the Palacio (the Secretariat). He met the Chief Minister’s personal assistant
and told him the entire story and also told him he wanted to meet the Chief
Minister. The PA told him that the Chief Minister was completely busy for the
next one and half months. That all the appointments had been quickly taken up
as soon as he had become the Chief Minister the previous day.
Now what shall
I do, asked Vittu.
Go to Bhau’s
house, he was told.
The next day,
Vittu went to Bhau’s house. There was a crowd of people there. But as soon as
Bhau saw him, he took him in before anyone else and asked him what work he had
come for. Vittu told him everything about the key. He told him about the police
complaint as well and that they didn’t seem to take the matter seriously
enough.
So you want me
to tell the police to look for your key? Don’t they have other work to do? Bhau
scolded him.
No no…that was
a v..very v..valuable k..k..key, Vittu said timidly.
So how valuable
is it?
W..what?
The cost of
that key?
I don’t know.
Bhau rose and
went inside. Vittu wondered if he had gotten angry. After a moment Bhau
returned and put a fistful of notes into Vittu’s hand, saying – Take this
money. Make a new key.
Vittu came home
and sat down to count the notes that Bhau had given him. To his surprise, the
money that Bhau had given him was enough to make even a golden key.
The original
Konkani version of this story appeared in Samkaleen Konkani Lagukatha (Contemporary Konkani
Short Stories) edited by Pundalik Narayan Naik, published by National Book
Trust, New Delhi, 1998
